An Obituary For Conservatism

The Conservative Movement died yesterday. It was 60 years old. The cause of death was listed as an aneurism.

An Auspicious Beginning

The Conservative Movement was started to defeat communism abroad and fight progressivism at home. However, some critics of the movement have alleged that its real purpose was to preserve the post-Roosevelt political order and prevent the rise of a nationalist party in the United States. In the minds of these critics, the conservative movement was created to fool people into thinking that they really did have an alternative to the progressive Democrat Party.

Prime Years

The movement reached its peak with the election of President Ronald Reagan. Reagan’s blend of small government, strong military, social conservatism, and optimism defined the conservative movement for a generation following his presidency—even though the Reagan Administration failed to live up to its own ideals.

Infection

After the fall of its main enemy, the Soviet Union, the conservative movement was left without direction. At about this same time, the conservative movement was infected with a virulent strain of neoconservatitis.

Delirious from infection, the movement began advocating the spread of democracy and capitalism as a panacea to all the world’s ills. The movement also abandoned social conservatism as part of its platform. Instead, the new domestic focus became how to increase corporate profits.

Dems Are The Real Racists

The need to provide corporations with cheap labor meant that the conservative movement was going to have to sell its followers something that was against their own best interests—uncontrolled immigration.

To do this, the conservative movement began pushing the idea that it was “inevitable” that the demographics of the United States would change from a majority white country to a multicultural smorgasbord. The GOP began featuring its minority candidates to fool their voters into thinking that it was the party of tomorrow. Prominent conservatives also started to chide the Democrats as being the “real racists” because their candidates were less diverse.

Meanwhile, immigrants were to be unimpressed with the GOP pantomime—they continued to vote overwhelmingly Democrat.

The Bush Era

With the collapse of the twin towers on 9-11, the neocon infected conservative movement was finally able to act out on its mandate to spread the gospel of democracy, capitalism, and corporatism. Under the influence of the neocons, the US embarked on its long campaign to completely destabilize the Middle East.

The Bush era ushered in the final platform of the conservative movement:

• Support for Israel.
• Military invasions of Middle Eastern countries and replacement of secular rulers with Islamists.
• Lower tax rates on corporations and hedge fund managers.
• Exporting all American jobs to China or Mexico.
• Uncontrolled immigration, both legal and illegal.
• Feigning opposition for social change such as gay marriage, radical feminism, & abortion.

The utter failure of President Bush and the conservatives lead to the election of President Obama, who proceeded to systematically deconstruct and undermine the United States.

Senescence

The conservative movement spent its last years lying to its voters while servicing their donors. It promised voters that things would get better once True Conservatives® were elected.

Voters were told that improving the country wasn’t possible because it “might offend minorities.” It also promised voters that blacks and other minorities were on the verge of embracing the Republican Party—the same promise they had been making for the past 50 years.

Not matter how many times the conservative voters elected True Conservatives® the result was the same—the conservatives continued to march one step behind the liberals as they always had.

Death Throes

The final stage of conservatism’s life was initiated by the campaign of Donald Trump who proposed the radical notion that the government should serve the needs of its own citizens—not globalist interests.

The conservative movement’s last act was to attack Donald Trump as not being a True Conservative®. Intellectual conservative luminaries such as Glenn Beck made the case in a little known journal that nominating Trump would forever damage the noble conservative brand.

With that last gasp, the conservative movement expired. It’s sole surviving cousin, Nationalism, asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Donald Trump for President campaign.